Well, I didn't accept the new job offer.
Just feel like I should update it here. As if there are people still reading it.
I decided to stay in my current job and accept the counteroffer offered by my lead.
It's a great opportunity, I believe.
Or maybe I'm just not as brave as I thought I am.
And well well, guess who came back and wanting to keep in touch with me.
Coming back, telling me maybe we should take it slow and try again.
Which I agreed to, cause, I know, deep down I still want it.
I still want it to work, so damn bad.
But guess what, it didn't work out. Just like so many times before.
I believe the good in him. I believe he wanted it to work too, he wanted us to work.
But just not as much as me.
And after watching the TS ATW short film, I kinda feel like he was gaslighting me all the time.
He knows how in love I am, I was. He knows he's my weakness.
All it takes is just one call, a text and I will be there. Rain or shine.
Why do you have to did me wrong like this.
I really loved you, you know right?
Thinking about it now, its weird I don't feel so sad anymore.
It's really his loss though, I loss someone who doesn't appreciate me enough while he let someone who cares so deeply about him walk away.
I guess this too is growth?
The bravery in walking away, knowing that this is toxic and it only brings out the worst in you.
I loved you T. I gave you so so so many chances and you fucked it up every single time.
I no longer feel sorry about my love and my care that I tried to gave you but got turned down so uglily.
"My love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" - TS
I guess it's best if I just keep all these love to myself and only to people who deserve and cherish it.
A heart like mine, deserve so much better.
