Hi guys, it's June 2021 now.
Nothing changed, the covid-19 pandemic is still here,
we're now in the third complete MCO.
Life sucks, I still feel sad, actually I kinda feel like I've got depression.
I have these terrible dreams at nights, I can't think,
and my mind is full of fragmented flashbacks of the past,
the happier times.
To be honest, I am in so much pain now.
But I hide it so well everyone thinks its now alright for me.
But trust me, deep down I just want to cry out loud.
I hate myself so much these days. I look down on me.
I have 0 motivation, I cry every night and sometimes I'm thinking of ending this.
It's like I can't find solace in anywhere, anyone except the person who broke me.
You can't imagine how much strength I need to stop reaching out to him.
Why it has to be so hard, why fate has to do me like this.
They said everything happened for a reason, and I truly believe it.
But can I know the reason now?
I am restless and hopeless. I just want things to end.
Why do you have to break me like this.
I wish I can go away for awhile.
Staying in the same place does suffocate me.
These memories are eating me up.
I feel like I am stranded, I can't move forward or go back.
You leave me alone here in the cold without a hand to hold or somebody to rely on.
