How do you feel when you are in love with someone?
I guess for me its like
you are willing to give all your time to him.
Even though you know the deadlines are near.
you are willing to sacrifice your bedtime just to talk more
just to spend more time with him
because you know there will be nothing better
than talking with him, not even sleep can win.
You are willing to get all awkward to spend time with their family
because you know they're important for him
and you are trying to make his family like you.
You want him to blend in your family.
You will hope he can be close with your family,
because you know,
he is going to be your family.
You will always think for him,
what should you remind him to bring
what should you remind him not to do,
which job is better,
how should he arrange his time
wake him up for class even though you don't have class
You will try to control things with the intention of
bringing your relationship to a better stage,
but maybe he didn't realize that
and you start to try and control everything
in the fear of everything will out of control.
And
you will always get mad even its just a very tiny thing.
You will get mad why is he still up on 4 am
why is he forget to bring his water
why is he lost his things
why is he so oblivious
why he doesn't like to explain everything to you.
He will get tired eventually.
You know it when he rather sleep than talk to you
you know it when you don't feel precious anymore
you know it when he's mad because you don't like his friend
you know it when he sounds so furious on the phone
doesn't even care about how you feel anymore
let you cry without feeling heartache
and
stop trying while he said he is trying very hard.
I wonder if this things happen when on the first few months,
your reaction must be very different.
In my view,
if you love someone,
you are not suppose to let them go to sleep mad & sad
not to let them feel worthless
not to let them feel like telling you their thinking is a sin
is a wasting time act
isn't it
you shouldn't let them feel extra
I didn't mean to hurt anyone in this post.
I have no place no one to express my sadness,
I can only post it here
I don't want to go to bed feeling sad again
Please forgive me.
