Me myself

 Don't ask me what I want, I have no idea too

I am always a weird person. A girl who don’t even know what she wants but expect people will understand all her feelings. To be frank, it will always be hard dealing with me. Its like one second im all good the next second some thoughts hit me and my mood get ruined. My mood can get affected easily by only just one word or just one voice tone. Im such an abominable sensitive selfish kid. I think the reason why i get upset so easily is I tend to blame it all on my own when something bad happen and maybe this is why i can’t be happy for longer time. Those ‘what if’ just keep appear in my mind after something bad happened.  ‘what if i didn’t insist i want that’ these thoughts will arise and kill me. Im always an unusual girl. I don’t expect people to understand me but i don’t want to hurt someone i love or people who love me. Did i mention i like sad songs? Before i get into relationship, there are only sad breakup songs in my playlist. Well at least i get better now, i listen to happy songs more even though i still hopelessly in love with those sad songs. I like the sadness, i like to be sad actually. Not for any particular reason, but just leave your mind blank, the only bad thing about that is sometimes too many negative thoughts came and it starts to create problems that don’t even exist. Im still trying to think more on the positive side. I used to be a very positive girl, something happened makes me loses hope on certain thing, changed my perspective on some point. Im still trying although I said it like n years ago but believe me I'm still trying. I just hope everything will go smooth no matter in family, relationship, studies and everything. Please be fine. 

love&hugs

04 Feb 2015

So i get admitted to hospital as i got sore throat few days ago and this caused me to lost my voice. Yes, i can’t speak now. Quite frustrated with it at first. I enjoy quietness a lot, but you can’t talk whenever you want is making me nuts. I get real upset as i can’t go to work, can’t go out even for just buying some drinks. So I'm currently staying in gleneagles specialist, lifelessly. Weak wifi is making me nuts and all i get to do at here is just sleep and eat. Told myself its time for me to rest, away from those hustle and bustle. By the way did i mention i get injected, its so pain. Its like my nightmare since im a kid and apparently it still is. // Parents are so busy recently i wish i can help them instead of just lying here, resting. They are the one who need rest the most. :(

Well at least they offer raise view, so its still not that bad after all right. Thank you for those old friends showing love for me, its really heart warming.

Wanna say thanks to my boyfriend who come here everyday to accompany me and take food for me. I know it must be tiring until he fall sick :p. I truly appreciate that, thank you baby. Please get well soon. 

loveandhugs